As the title says, Chapter 4 is now available for your reading pleasure. I have uploaded it to FFNet already, and I also e-mailed the chapter link to EqD.
The scene with Fluttershy in the garden was initially going to be in chapter 3, after the scene with Dash and the newspaper. After reaching that part in chapter 3, though, I felt like the Fluttershy scene would have been out of place, and would be better to start a new chapter with. I almost did the same for the Twilight/Dash scene at the end of chapter 4, but it was never intended to be a long scene, so I figured it was best to just leave it like that.
I really enjoyed writing this chapter. I've had these ideas for Fluttershy floating around in my mind for a while now, so it was nice to actually get them written out. Axing this part from chapter 3 also gave me time to draft up more material, which is how the opening scene in this chapter came about. I had way too much fun writing the Rarity Rage scene. Overall, I don't know how many people would really be that scared over being hit on, but I think it is a fairly accurate description for Fluttershy. Just look at Fluttershy's reaction to Twilight introducing herself in episode 1. If she's that timid over a simple introduction, then I can easily imagine her being immobilized with fear over a guy forcing himself on her. Plus there's that bit of human Fluttershy's back story that was revealed in this chapter.
Hopefully the scene with Fluttershy at the rabbit hutch and the scene with Twilight and the book have gotten you thinking. If they haven't, then I was unsuccessful. As I said in the note at the end of the chapter, the fifth chapter may be a bit longer in coming. I recently graduated from my graduate school, and I will be leaving for a week in Florida to celebrate in three days' time. While I will have my laptop with me, I don't know how much time I'll actually find to write.
Thank you all for sticking with me and continuing to read this story! I know it's not the greatest piece of literature ever (it certainly isn't the best thing I've ever written), but I sure do have fun writing it.
You do provide some interesting perspective on the mane cast. While "humanized ponies" tends to be a theme that (especially on the visual arts department) can easily go from "amusing" to "awkward as hell", I think you have pulled it off pretty good.
ReplyDeleteNow, you were seeking someone to proofread and/or bounce ideas off? Then I think I'm your man. Pretty much for as long as I've had internet access, I've been reading fiction all around the web, most notably at Shifti.org(and it's predecessor tsa.transform.to), probably the biggest hub for transformation fiction, which this story apparently at least borderlines into. And, hehe, past couple of months, ponyfics. Which I guess wasn't a big surprise. And, well, a lot of fiction in general.
I've also tried my hand in writing a time or three, but haven't completed anything in ages... although at this rate I will start writing pony-fanfics...*COUGH!* I am also a roleplayer, preferring the written format of rp. Oh yea, and I draw(well, some of the more courageous have called it art) - foxofwar.deviantart.com
Anyway, if you need a bouncing board for silly ponyfiction, feel free to drop me an email at artomasseli(at)hotmail(dot)com
I'm also free for any pre-reading you may need. I've haven't read much fan fiction before. But a few months ago I just dived right in, reading almost all the fan fics on ED in a very short amount of time.
ReplyDeleteI'm also a fairly good writer. I have already written two fan fics for this show, I haven't submitted them to Equestria Daily yet. I also have 3 others in the works.
I can't draw though.
If you want me to help out you can email me (dylan_rubini@hotmail.com)
Absolutely loving the story so far! I do enjoy character development stories when they've got an interesting twist to it, and this is one corker of a twist! Interested to see how the story develops with Pinkie remembering their past selves.
ReplyDeleteI just read your post on EqD requesting proofreaders. I'd love to offer my services proofreading and being there to bounce ideas off, but after reading the above two comments, I'm not sure if the position is still open. If you still want anyone to help, I can tell you I'm fairly well-read in and out of the MLP fandom. I'm also pretty OCD over details, I've noticed. If you need to IM over anything, I'm online most of the time.
e-mail: cotonite1@hotmail.co.uk
Skype (if you have it): gygados
Cheers! Good luck to the rest of story!
Thanks for the replies everyone! Sorry it took me so long to reply to you all. Honestly, I'd be open to having all three of you proof the chapters as long as you were all okay with that idea as well. I like getting different perspectives on my writing.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteMy friend, I would love to!
ReplyDelete(By the way, this is ProjectBarry. Changed account names)